I interviewed Cypress Hill!!! #FanGirl

Cypress Hill, one of the most versatile and iconic hip hop acts of a generation, are playing at what is arguably one of the most trailblazing music festivals on offer (no I'm not biased...) Boomtown! Having written 8 studio albums and experimenting on each with different sounds, they are a perfect choice for the independent event which prides itself on promoting underground music from around the world, leaving no genre unturned. Originating in California, Cypress Hill have gone platinum on multiple occasions and enjoyed worldwide success as one of the most influential hip hop acts, pushing musical boundaries at each turn. Who else better to embody the innovative spirit but MC Sen Dog who I spoke to about the Cypress journey and upcoming performance at the festival (he said my purple hair was hot, fan girl moment to the maxxxxx)

Cypress Hill have gone platinum countless times and enjoyed worldwide success, what made you want to start making music in the first place?

We were already part of the hip hop breaking scene but when I got into music it was because of Run DMC. I’d heard hip-hop before them but it didn’t really move me like that. When I saw them perform on Soul Train for the first time I was still in high school and was taken back, it completely changed my life.

You’re known for being an incredibly innovative act having collaborated with Damian Marley who played the Lion’s Den last year, you must enjoy experimenting with different genres?

Yeah, there’s always different music you can try to marry! We were definitely fans of rock & roll, metal and reggae with all of us having individual likes at individual levels but that was our first attempt at fusion stuff with metal and rock & roll sounds and some reggae stuff. We’ve done Latino dub with a heavy salsa feel to it so we’re constantly trying to come up with something we’ve never done before to keep ourselves from getting bored.

Considering how different each of your albums are, is there one you’d say is your favourite?

The first album and Skull & Bones remain my two favourite records, personally. The first one because we were just two young guys, didn’t know much about life or the world and the music business...we were still on the streets at that point, knuckle head kids with Mugs constantly trying to make us focus on the band, but we were a bit crazy still. Skull & Bones because that was the first album that we were really like, we’re gonna fuse and experiment. All my favourite artists had at one point so we just tried something completely different to what we’d been doing and came with Rock Super Star! So that was a very proud moment for me.

After taking that first step into the unknown, trying something a bit different, do you think that opened the door to more experimentation in your music and the way that you play?

Yes, it definitely made us more open - after that we were ready to do anything! It really opened me up musically because I wasn’t thinking twice about trying to experiment with other sounds, I was just eager to see what was going to come out of it. When we’re playing live on stage, I prefer Cypress Hill in the traditional hip hop format with MC, DJ and percussionist - that’s the way I like to get down! But every now and then I really like getting in front of a band with guitars and drummers and get as forceful with my voice as I can, as aggressive, because it gives you the avenue to be that way. We’ve done some guest appearances with Smash, Dave Lavaro, Travis Barker, Tom Morillio - all these rock n rollers who want to jam with Cypress and that’s a whole other hierarchy, a whole different echemol. It’s almost like, damn..every time we get to do that I’m just super excited!

You guys are headlining on the Lion’s Den stage, the biggest reggae stage in the UK! Reggae music is really the backbone of Boomtown, is there a particular reggae artist that’s been influential to you?

Well of course, the man, Bob Marley. Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer, those artists were very instrumental in getting me to listen to that style of music and then listening to what they said. Bob Marley’s lyrics were spiritual, the only way you’re not going to be affected by that music is if you don’t have a soul, which is what I love about that brand of music. Whatever environment they grew up in, it made them think ‘what could be better for my spirit and my soul’ and a beautiful thing. It was for humans, opulent, across the board - it wasn’t just a Jamaican thing.

How have you dealt with growing into one of the most iconic figures in hip hop?

Well I guess it’s something I don’t think about in my everyday life but like last week I got pulled over by a policeman because he saw me in traffic and he turned around. I thought I’d done something wrong but he just wanted to get a picture (laughs) so at that point I’m like, that’s what this life is! It’s part of it but it’s mind blowing because we idolised iconic figures. The level to be able to meet those guys at is a special thing - to think we actually became the things we were looking up to, our idols.

Needsumbody

This is gonna be a short and sweet post because 

a) I have a stupid amount of work to do

b) I have a stupid amount of work to do

c) OMG why am I still typing when I have so much work to do??!!!

Stress levels were HIGH yesterday (they're not exactly low now but, what ya gonna do?!)
Emotionally difficult weekend followed by lots of mini stresses which grew into bigger stresses until I realised I'd bitten 2 fingernails so much they were bleeding...

On the bus back from work Abra 'Needsumbody' came up on YouTube shuffle & I needed to go home and try it. I was worried it would be awful because I wasn't in a great headspace and I love the track and I didn't want to do a bad job and spiral into a pit of sadness (I think we can assume I was feeling a little anxious generally) But I went home and did it! Didn't do ANYTHING I was meant to do but also didn't have a panic attack sooooooooo we'll be calling that a draw life 👌🏽

It's not perfect, but neither am I! It's ridiculous to think I can be the best, strongest version of myself everyday and I'm trying to remind myself of that and trying to embrace moments of vulnerability, to turn them into something positive. Hope everyone out there in cybers is alright - here's the experimental end product if you fancy a listen xx

The toxic levels of misogyny

I wasn't sure whether to write about what happened last night. Partly because I've been spending most of the day trying to forget it happened, but mostly because there's a knot of shame in my stomach that I don't really understand... I'm not one to be confrontational for no reason, I like to assume people are generally good. Some make stupid comments or do silly things but I'd prefer to believe people aren't vindictive unless provoked. This theory is a hard one to wrap my head around today.

Last night I was out with a good friend of mine who I hadn't seen properly in far too long. We were on a solid wave, laughing and joking whilst walking down stokes croft when I feel someone touch my hair. It's not a foreign feeling; someone decides they have a right to stick their dirty hands in my clean hair because 'they want to' but I wasn't going to let it annoy me. I was surprised when I turned round to see it was a black guy that did it.

I kept my cool, "Come on man, don't touch my hair. You of all people should know not to touch a black girls hair."

Not aggressive, not rude. I even smiled to show no hard feelings. We walked on. An hour or so later, we walk back past the same guy and his two friends.

As we go past his mixed race friend shouts, "Oi you, you told my friend he couldn't touch your hair"

"Yes I did, why would you touch a stranger? That's not cool"

"Cause you think you're nice. You think you're so nice, you think you're a ten innit. Listen, you're a five at best. Nobody wants a black woman, you know that yeah."

".... You know you're mixed race don't you?"

"Don't worry about me, we're not talking about me, I'll be fine. We're talking about you and you're nothing."

Horrible as they were, it's not the words he said that upset me because clearly his self hatred ran deep, but I couldn't contemplate these imagined assumptions he was throwing at me like they were factual. Like he knew anything about me - we were literally strangers. I hit him around the head with my umbrella, called him a dickhead and walked away in shock.

After a a few seconds I realised my friend wasn't with me, I looked back and saw her; tiny and blonde and livid, shouting at this guy on my behalf because she was so angry he would speak to me like that. He spat in her face. She kicked him in the balls. I ran back, started whacking him with my umbrella, he spat in my face. I hit him a few more times. He laughed, and ran.

He fucking laughed.

When I woke up this morning, I felt this overwhelming sense of sadness which has stayed all day. Why did that situation happen in the first place? Did I do something to provoke or exacerbate it? What was his reason for attack? Is it literally because I told his friend not to touch me? Can that really be the only reason? Why didn't I punch him in his misogynistic fucking face?

I would have been less humiliated if he'd just punched us but he spat on me and friend like we were worthless. Because I didn't want his friend to touch me. I actually cannot fathom the arrogance it would take to treat another human being like that.

What makes me angriest is that I don't think that altercation would have occurred if a guy was with us, but because we were two women alone, uninterested in him and his mates, he saw vulnerability and spat when challenged.

My hands are shaking even as I type because I haven't felt that sense of helplessness in so long. Even though I know what happened is a reflection of him and not me, I'm angry I didn't do more in the moment. Sitting here thinking about all the cutting, witty things I could have said instead of standing there shocked and confused. It's easier to rationale racism when it comes from those who don't look like you...but this was coming from someone literally the same shade as me. It didn't have anything to do with race really, that was just a bit of quick ammo. It was about humiliation and that is what's proving difficult to shake off.

Normally when I write blogs I like there to be a solid conclusion...but there isn't one in this instance. Guess the reason I'm writing it is because I know there will have been times in other women's lives when they've been belittled for not acting the way they 'should', how others want them to. So I'm putting this out there to say, fuck that. Fuck them. I'm putting him behind a door in my mind and will try to never think of his smug little face ever again because my thoughts are what he wants.

What I will remember from that night is tequila shots, pipe dreams, laughing till I cried and dancing like a dickhead to disco, because that's who I am.

As my lady Miss Ella Fitzgerald would sing, "They can't take that away from me"

"Disrespect invites disrespect"

Meryl Streep xx

Nadia Rose, J Hus, Katy B - In:Motion 12/11/16

Originally written for Bristol 24/7

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Reviews: Review: Katy B, Nadia Rose and more, Motion

Ngaio Anyia, November 14, 2016

There is a trap that you can fall into when attending Motion regularly - failing to be surprised. The DJs are the pull so it’s easy to think you already know what kind of night it’s going be before it’s begun.

Saturday was a very pleasant surprise, however. The Room One lineup of Katy B (a peculiar choice I thought - couldn’t quite imagine her flying solo), J Hus who’s had solid radio play and finally Nadia Rose, famously elusive when it comes to turning up, resulted in me approaching the night with manageable expectations.

As soon as I walked in everyone was smiles. It still had that ‘freshers’ first time at Motion’ vibe but it was the least arrogant crowd I’ve seen there for a long time. Throughout the night I heard strangers giving each other compliments, groups giving apologetic excuses as they meandered through the crowd and smiles exchanged between most who made eye contact. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed there. 

The Cave, generally the room to dance-walk through to get to where the real fun is, was packed. I would happily have spent the entire night in there, due largely to ALXZNDR (above) shelling out some of the best mixes I’ve heard in a while. Old school garage, grime - it was nostalgia delivered expertly, sans the cheese. He's one of the residents at Psyched in Bristol. I recommend him highly - the next night is on the 26th.

Katy B was a little late, to the point where people were frantically asking each other if they’d missed her, but lo and behold when she arrived the place erupted. It was a set of hits you couldn’t help but dance to. Lights On had everyone singing her lyrics to each other with relish, while On A Mission whipped the crowd into a frenzy. The wonderful thing about Motion not being full to the brim with people is that there actually room to dance - a godsend when J Hus graced the stage - it was music to dance to. I swiftly realised he was that artist that I always hear in mixes and forget to look up, but so many of his tracks are fire. Everyone found a dancing partner for Friendly, flipping between dancehall, basement and bass music it was a high energy set which perfectly transitioned from drum & bass to grime.

As the Friendly-made couples turned round to greet their sporadic dance partners, the woman I’d been waiting for came out of the shadows: Nadia Rose. So rarely do you see a female grime artist in the main room at prime time, but there she was and she delivered her cut-above lyrics with intense precision. Her quickfire set of hits and exclusives, accompanied by a female beatboxer, had the crowd jumping. I failed to get the beatboxer's name but, damn, she delivered. With one foot on the speaker, Rose exhileratingly shot out lyrics celebrating females, and Skwod in particular had us dancing with abandon. There was something about seeing a woman of colour unapologetically dominate the stage which couldn’t help but fill me with pride.

This is what I love about In:Motion, the lineups are put together thoughtfully and perfectly. I’m already waiting with baited breath for DJ EZ on November 2.

How Active is Activism?

Oh wow, I feel like so much has happened since I wrote my last blog post.

I've been meaning to write another one for months now but have been totally slammed with work/life/music/work/work/work/work/work but now I have my morning coffee break to get some thoughts out of my brain so as per, figured I'd share them!

Just to give some context as to where I am now, on the 7th July I woke up, scrolled through my facebook feed and saw Philando Castile dying on camera. The 32 year old school cafeteria supervisor was in the car with his girlfriend Diamond Reynolds and her four year old daughter when he was pulled over by a policeman. When Castile told the policeman he had a gun (as you're supposed to in America - you have to declare to the law when you have a registered firearm) the policeman fatally shot him in the arm. He died and the policeman was sent on paid leave. Watch the video and read the full story here.

Two days beforehand Alton Sterling, a 37 year old father of five, was pinned down by two police officers at a convenience store for selling CDs and shot several times at point blank range. You can also watch the video via the above link.

Ever since Sandra Bland's dashcam footage and resulting death in police custody, I have woken up fast. It wasn't enough anymore to only talk about the struggle when it was comfortable or to explain different points of view in docile terms because...we're beyond that. When I saw Akua Naru perform last year I remember her saying, "this has been going on in America for a long time, it's just y'all know about it now." We are incredibly fortunate that the internet and social media give us access to things that would otherwise be hearsay - there is no denying the truth when it's laid out for you in the way these deaths are, but I wasn't ready for it. 

That day, I felt so sick. Sick with fear and anger but mostly overwhelming sadness. Throughout the day I got 4 calls from friends who cried with me down the phone while I sat in the bathroom at work. The overwhelming question of... Why? Why is this happening? Why is this being allowed to happen? Why isn't everyone crying right now...? Why?

That weekend I was going to go to London to be part of the Black Lives Matter march because I had to do something - anything. Then I asked a friend of mine why one wasn't happening in Bristol. She said she'd been talking about it with a couple of other members of the community, I was joined to the conversation and within 24 hours we organised a Black Lives Matter march to which a thousand people joined and it was one of the proudest moments of my life. To see such a wide variety of ages and races come together to say collectively that Black Lives Matter gave me hope.

Since that march I've been thinking about how 'active' activism is. Does it always have to be a thousand strong march through the city? Or can it be something so small as challenging perceptions, asking a question that others would rather ignore - because in a lot of ways I think that's harder. To talk to people you like or may even love about issues that don't affect them in the same way. I've grown up predominantly around white, middle class people and my Facebook page reflects that. Over the past couple of years, that demographic has changed as I meet new people, join different discussions and what I'm left with now is a mix of people who are 'Woke' and 'Somewhat Aware'.

As someone from a mixed heritage I'm not unfamiliar with being in this middle ground but my god, it was FAR easier organising a Black Lives Matter march than having to explain to people who you may have known since childhood about the daily struggle because ultimately...you don't want to have to keep explaining. You just want them to:

A) Understand that they are living a different life to you

B) Listen to what you're saying and not see your frustration at the system as a personal attack
C) Not make you into an 'angry black person' because you're sparking questions they don't want to think about

Now, just because I'm loud and opinionated, does NOT mean I think I'm always right. Ever. I'm always up for a healthy discussion. But if we come to the discussion of race I would never think to tell a white person or a darker skinned person, how they should feel...because it's not my place. I do not know their life experience, only my own.

I am very aware that I benefit from white privilege as a mixed race, lighter skinned black person. So if someone begins to tell me how they experience the world, how arrogant do I have to be to say, "actually I think you're wrong"... Because how would I know?! There are some who can't help but feel the need to be relevant - to always have an opinion and often those people are the ones who are 'Somewhat Aware'. Maybe they feel somewhat guilty - but your guilt is doing nothing but derailing the conversation.

Those conversations are the hardest ones to have - the small challenges that can occur everyday because those are the ones where you may actually have an argument with someone you like, where you may both find yourselves in an uncomfortable position. I remember having a conversation about racial prejudice with one of my friends once and she was telling me about this horrible guy she works with that makes derogatory racial jokes all the time and I asked her why she hadn't confronted him. She said "coming from a skinny white girl, it's not exactly my place"... but it is your place. It's everyone's place because he's going to pay more attention to your outrage than he is mine.

“People won’t listen to you or take you seriously unless you’re an old white man, and since I’m an old white man I’m going to use that to help the people who need it.” – Patrick Stewart

This is why, for now, I leave my politically motivated Facebook posts public. I have a network of pretty intelligent people from different backgrounds, most of whom's opinions I respect and will listen to...but there are still questions to be asked, perceptions to be challenged and difficult conversations to be had. Even when I'm not trying to start a debate it seems to happen, every time my phone vibrates I get a little pit in my stomach thinking "Fuuuuck, what's kicking off now?"... but I can handle that pit in my stomach, I'm used to it.

Nothing ever got solved on Facebook and I'm not under any illusions that my opinion is any more valid than anyone else's but I'm not afraid of conflict. More often than not, I think it's something we can all learn from.

Freetown Sound: A Review of the Political New Album from Blood Orange

The blues, a genre born from songs sung on slave ships to release pain and spark hope, is one

that is deeply embedded in the black community. Maturing in Mississippi Delta, just upriver from New Orleans (the birthplace of jazz) the two have been closely linked ever since; strongly rooted in African-American history.

Over the past couple of years, a new strain of hip hop has incorporated jazz and taken on embedded that history. As a mainstream genre, that fusion is now recognised as the sound of resistance. The first artist to come to mind of its use in this particular way is D’Angelo - his Black Messiah embodied the swagger of jazz throughout with a sea of fists on the seen on the sleeve to secure its meaning as a political album.

Kendrick Lamar followed with the groundbreaking, To Pimp a Butterfly in 2015. Opening with the mantra ‘Every nigger is a star’ before strutting into For Free where Lamar’s quick talk, harmonising horns and walking double bass transported the listener to a 1920s smoky piano bar. Fusing upbeat jazz with swiftly delivered bars early on in the album, resulted in hip hop, jazz and black politics becoming inexplicably linked.

By opening Freetown Sound with hauntingly jazzy chords from the beginning, Blood Orange, perhaps subconsciously references there recent works. Which is not to take away from the mark he himself has made on this concept. The first song quickly moves into what I’d describe as gospel music; another facet of black music not often heard in the UK. Whenever I’ve heard this type of sound, personally, it has been used as a soundtrack for pain and remorse. Dissecting the words of the song, ‘They took and skinned my name. Try to raise the feeling. I saw right through, tried to love them.They threw it in your face, tell you what you're feeling.”

Who are those words speaking about? Are they being spoken by a black man, as a first hand description of how it feels growing up in a society that sees you as less than others, despite your efforts to bridge that gap? Or are they being spoken by a young boy, picked on at school in East London?

Blood Orange, real name Dev Hynes, was born in Ilford, London and has spoken about the unhappier parts of his childhood where kids from the black community would target him. Ostracisation at a young age may be identifiable to those who feel segregated from society because of the colour of their skin.

When Ashlee Haze’s spoken word breaks through, this theme of ostracisation develops into the struggles that can come when attempting to form an identity; especially when those that look like you are rarely seen in positive roles. Haze speaks: ‘If you ask me why representation is important…  I will tell you that right now there are a million black girls just waiting, to see someone who looks like them.’ This theme of representation and the necessity in being able to connect with visions of yourself elevating in society rather than being pulled down, is one the recurred in the album.

Augustine mentions Trayvon Martin early on; a 17 year old from Miami who was fatally shot by a white man on neighbourhood watch who mistook him for a criminal due to the hoodie he was wearing. By referencing the incident almost naturally, Hynes shows the audience how naturally he himself connects with this young boy. Two young black men, one of them alive. 

‘But You’ further explores this confused sense of identity. It’s a song that speaks of the battle inside Blood Orange when trying to decide whether or not to cross the road, because a white woman walking towards him seems uncomfortable. ‘Teach yourself about your brother. Cause there's no one else but you.You are special in your own way’ .This idea that someone’s skin colour, the one thing that can’t be chosen, can leave them vulnerable to prejudice - a fact that seems to be all too familiar for Blood Orange. The negative connotations that automatically come with being a tall, slim black man with dreadlocks, can make Hynes seem like a threat to the person walking opposite him, seeing him through fear.

This shift in focus could be an uncomfortable experience for the audience; it’s getting harder to pretend racism doesn’t exist when social media is circulating with videos of death. I first became aware of Blood Orange when I was trying to come to terms with the dash cam footage of Sandra Bland’s arrest. She was stopped and tasered for no reason; after being in custody for three days she mysteriously died. When I saw the footage and realised that she was taken down for defending her rights, that was the moment I identified with the reality of what people in America were going through.

Blood Orange wrote about the incident, releasing Sandra’s Smile. Staccato words sang: ‘Why the fuck do you even speak? t's not a choice of speech, and it sure ain't free.’ This is where we come to a point that, in some ways, is more disturbing; had she kept quiet, maybe she wouldn’t have had to die. This ‘keep your mouth shut or else’ mentality is one that has been a route of domestic violence for a long time. Sandra’s Smile was the last song brought out before Freetown Sound and I believe it to be a catalyst for a feminist side of the album.

Desirée uses an extract from Paris is Burning in Venus where Venus Xtravaganza (a transgender performer) speaks about prostituting herself to men in order to afford her gender realignment surgery. Queerness, feminism and trans issues are not widely represented in black music and to see it seamlessly sewn into the album, no bells or whistles, is moving. Blood Orange has welcomed a marginalised group into a genre which has not often been readily accessible to them, in terms of representation.

Each time I listen to Freetown Sound, I find a new layer of meaning. It is a complex album that looks at identity and representation in an incredibly gentle way. It is musical and thoughtful and almost listens like you’ve wandered into the middle of someone’s deep thought and decided to stick around. When I look at the previously mentioned political albums, they are angry, or at the very least defiant - Freetown Sound is neither. Blood Orange is just… Tired. Tired of having to explain his actions and question his thoughts based on how other’s choose to interpret him. It is not an easy insight to express - but Freetown Sound has managed it.

Batshit Brexit

I've been quiet for a while, mostly because life has steam rolled ahead and I haven't had time to sit down and write anything but now... Brexit. A campaign based entirely on prejudice and greed.

I tried my best to forget about it whilst at Glastonbury (which I'll be writing much happier things about in my next post) but I can't ignore it anymore. This is a decision that has been made, by and large, by a generation that doesn't have to live with the consequences.

I woke up this morning and saw yet another video of some brutish, uneducated, racist thugs attacking a person of colour on public transport. I then went onto The Guardian and saw that Labour were trying to oust Jeremy Corbyn who seems like the only politician who has any moral standing or positive vision in the government so far.

I then went to work and received messages from friends saying they were too afraid to leave their houses or go on public transport because they now feel the world is a frightening place and their home no longer wants them. Then I got angry. I got really fucking angry.

A lot of people seem surprised that the vote has gone the way that it has. I keep hearing people say,
'I can't believe this has happened'....

I believe it.

I believe it because from the ages of 5-9 I was the only person of colour living in a small minded town where prejudices were passed down from generation to generation. Kids at school didn't know why they didn't like me, they just knew that their parents and grandparents looked at me like I was worthless, like I was a dirty spot on their perfect white town, and so hate bred hate.

Last week I saw a little Jamaican boy with his mum in a butchers in Easton asking the guy working there when England was playing football. He said, "I'm supporting England because I'm British and I love England" and as I smiled at him, my heart broke a little because I was afraid one day someone might make him question that, with a look, or a comment, or violence.

I prayed that, unlike me, he wouldn't be told day after day that he didn't belong, that he wasn't welcome...that he wasn't wanted... And then Brexit happened and racists everywhere were told that their voices had been heard. Their prayers had been answered. They were getting Britain back.

But what Britain are they trying to get back? This is the question I've been asking myself over and over, what do you want Britain to look like? If it's a country full of white people, you'll have to take us back to the 1800s, to Henry VIII, to the Tudors because there were black people here then too you know.

In an article named The Missing Tudors: black people in 16th Century England, an extract reads:

"These Africans were baptised, buried and recorded in parish records in London, Plymouth, Southampton, Barnstaple, Bristol, Leicester, Northampton and other places across the country."

(Click here for the full article)

The Nation's favourite dish was Chicken Tikka Masala for a decade, only in 2014 did that change. We held the Olympics where we were proud that British citizens triumphed, whether they were white or not. And then what, Nigel Farage comes along with his backwards party and starts to split the country in half - is that really how easy it is to divide us? One stupid man who's married to a German woman, has half German children but because their white, it's alright?

Those who voted to leave made a mistake, but I only know this because in the past 2 years I have had to wake up and educate myself on politics. I know that Britain has an unattractive trait of not learning from its mistakes. For a tiny island we have an over inflated ego and very little ability to take responsibility for our actions.

Lest we forget, the reason there is such a high level of immigration in this country is because, as a tiny little island, the UK needed people to come over here and fight for them - to die for them. These people were brought in from India, Africa and Asia (mainly during the First World War) to die for Britain, but were quickly erased from the history books. The documentary by David Olusoga, named The World's War: Forgotten Soldiers of Empire goes into further detail.

After the Second World War, immigration boomed when Jamaicans and Africans were recruited to do manual labour jobs and told their 'second home' was Britain... From what my family has told me, I don't think they felt that way when they turned up. 

Our history is drenched in using other countries to make ours more successful going all the way back to slavery and yet 52% of the Nation has decided they don't want anymore 'outsider's' in their country.

People can try to tell me as much as they want that this wasn't about race or racism or prejudice or xenophobia, but you are lying to yourselves if you think those of us that are British; have always been British and will always be British don't see it that way.

That those who have come here to be safe because they aren't safe in their countries, don't see it that way.

That those who have come here to work at jobs people here can't or won't do, don't see it that way.

A choice has been made that sends a very clear and a very sad message to those in the UK and beyond, and it makes me desperately ashamed to be painted with the same brush.

But here's the thing - there are those in this world who feed off hate because it makes them feel bigger than they are. Those who have to go with a pack mentality because they don't how to think for themselves and those who simply make bad decisions, but they don't have to hold all the power. We are the only ones who can give others' permission to make us feel any smaller than we are.

We are bigger together. We are stronger together and we shine brighter together. And that 'togetherness' is not based on race, it's based on mentality. As a mixed race woman I am part of many different worlds and they are a part of me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't angry but when I came home and cried on my mum's shoulder today, I decided that I wouldn't be scared. I wouldn't give them that power over me.

Social media is a very powerful thing, it can open our eyes to the truth but it can also feed hysteria so I won't be re-posting anything negative I see for a while. I will forward things that will give me hope that life won't look so bleak tomorrow.

If anyone in the Bristol area does experience ANY form of attack (verbal, physical, anything) then contact SARI (Stand Against Racism and Inequality) - click for link. They are a dedicated, hard working team that will help you through it and help you report it.

Silence will not help us move forward. We have regulations in this country which make any form of abuse ILLEGAL. Stay informed but don't be afraid, because you are not alone. 

Xx

P.S. For all my Corbyn backer's in need of some hope right now:

'Last year Jeremy won a quarter of a million votes. Today he lost the confidence of 170 people who never supported him in the first place.

The vote of no confidence by Labour MPs has no standing under Labour rules; it’s window-dressing a thoroughly undemocratic coup with a made-up attempt to look democratic.

35 MPs nominated Jeremy last year and 40 stood with him today – an increase in parliamentary support if anything.

Hundreds of thousands have indicated their support for Jeremy in the last forty-eight hours.

He’s going nowhere.'