Batshit Brexit

I've been quiet for a while, mostly because life has steam rolled ahead and I haven't had time to sit down and write anything but now... Brexit. A campaign based entirely on prejudice and greed.

I tried my best to forget about it whilst at Glastonbury (which I'll be writing much happier things about in my next post) but I can't ignore it anymore. This is a decision that has been made, by and large, by a generation that doesn't have to live with the consequences.

I woke up this morning and saw yet another video of some brutish, uneducated, racist thugs attacking a person of colour on public transport. I then went onto The Guardian and saw that Labour were trying to oust Jeremy Corbyn who seems like the only politician who has any moral standing or positive vision in the government so far.

I then went to work and received messages from friends saying they were too afraid to leave their houses or go on public transport because they now feel the world is a frightening place and their home no longer wants them. Then I got angry. I got really fucking angry.

A lot of people seem surprised that the vote has gone the way that it has. I keep hearing people say,
'I can't believe this has happened'....

I believe it.

I believe it because from the ages of 5-9 I was the only person of colour living in a small minded town where prejudices were passed down from generation to generation. Kids at school didn't know why they didn't like me, they just knew that their parents and grandparents looked at me like I was worthless, like I was a dirty spot on their perfect white town, and so hate bred hate.

Last week I saw a little Jamaican boy with his mum in a butchers in Easton asking the guy working there when England was playing football. He said, "I'm supporting England because I'm British and I love England" and as I smiled at him, my heart broke a little because I was afraid one day someone might make him question that, with a look, or a comment, or violence.

I prayed that, unlike me, he wouldn't be told day after day that he didn't belong, that he wasn't welcome...that he wasn't wanted... And then Brexit happened and racists everywhere were told that their voices had been heard. Their prayers had been answered. They were getting Britain back.

But what Britain are they trying to get back? This is the question I've been asking myself over and over, what do you want Britain to look like? If it's a country full of white people, you'll have to take us back to the 1800s, to Henry VIII, to the Tudors because there were black people here then too you know.

In an article named The Missing Tudors: black people in 16th Century England, an extract reads:

"These Africans were baptised, buried and recorded in parish records in London, Plymouth, Southampton, Barnstaple, Bristol, Leicester, Northampton and other places across the country."

(Click here for the full article)

The Nation's favourite dish was Chicken Tikka Masala for a decade, only in 2014 did that change. We held the Olympics where we were proud that British citizens triumphed, whether they were white or not. And then what, Nigel Farage comes along with his backwards party and starts to split the country in half - is that really how easy it is to divide us? One stupid man who's married to a German woman, has half German children but because their white, it's alright?

Those who voted to leave made a mistake, but I only know this because in the past 2 years I have had to wake up and educate myself on politics. I know that Britain has an unattractive trait of not learning from its mistakes. For a tiny island we have an over inflated ego and very little ability to take responsibility for our actions.

Lest we forget, the reason there is such a high level of immigration in this country is because, as a tiny little island, the UK needed people to come over here and fight for them - to die for them. These people were brought in from India, Africa and Asia (mainly during the First World War) to die for Britain, but were quickly erased from the history books. The documentary by David Olusoga, named The World's War: Forgotten Soldiers of Empire goes into further detail.

After the Second World War, immigration boomed when Jamaicans and Africans were recruited to do manual labour jobs and told their 'second home' was Britain... From what my family has told me, I don't think they felt that way when they turned up. 

Our history is drenched in using other countries to make ours more successful going all the way back to slavery and yet 52% of the Nation has decided they don't want anymore 'outsider's' in their country.

People can try to tell me as much as they want that this wasn't about race or racism or prejudice or xenophobia, but you are lying to yourselves if you think those of us that are British; have always been British and will always be British don't see it that way.

That those who have come here to be safe because they aren't safe in their countries, don't see it that way.

That those who have come here to work at jobs people here can't or won't do, don't see it that way.

A choice has been made that sends a very clear and a very sad message to those in the UK and beyond, and it makes me desperately ashamed to be painted with the same brush.

But here's the thing - there are those in this world who feed off hate because it makes them feel bigger than they are. Those who have to go with a pack mentality because they don't how to think for themselves and those who simply make bad decisions, but they don't have to hold all the power. We are the only ones who can give others' permission to make us feel any smaller than we are.

We are bigger together. We are stronger together and we shine brighter together. And that 'togetherness' is not based on race, it's based on mentality. As a mixed race woman I am part of many different worlds and they are a part of me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't angry but when I came home and cried on my mum's shoulder today, I decided that I wouldn't be scared. I wouldn't give them that power over me.

Social media is a very powerful thing, it can open our eyes to the truth but it can also feed hysteria so I won't be re-posting anything negative I see for a while. I will forward things that will give me hope that life won't look so bleak tomorrow.

If anyone in the Bristol area does experience ANY form of attack (verbal, physical, anything) then contact SARI (Stand Against Racism and Inequality) - click for link. They are a dedicated, hard working team that will help you through it and help you report it.

Silence will not help us move forward. We have regulations in this country which make any form of abuse ILLEGAL. Stay informed but don't be afraid, because you are not alone. 

Xx

P.S. For all my Corbyn backer's in need of some hope right now:

'Last year Jeremy won a quarter of a million votes. Today he lost the confidence of 170 people who never supported him in the first place.

The vote of no confidence by Labour MPs has no standing under Labour rules; it’s window-dressing a thoroughly undemocratic coup with a made-up attempt to look democratic.

35 MPs nominated Jeremy last year and 40 stood with him today – an increase in parliamentary support if anything.

Hundreds of thousands have indicated their support for Jeremy in the last forty-eight hours.

He’s going nowhere.'

Friday Fuckery

White or Black?

Something happened this morning which has the high ability of ruining my day. I do not want it to ruin my day because it's just another occurance of every day racism. Normally I would brush it off, use it as an anecdote to laugh about ignorance - and not let in the hurt that comes with having to define and defend my heritage in regular day to day life... But I'm not going to do that this time. Because it's these small, insignificant, thoughtless acts that make it blindingly obvious that everyone is NOT seen the same.

Today I was filling out a form and I was working my way through it when I saw the ethnicity box. Tick whichever applies. I didn't tick any, because I don't feel like declaring my ethnicity is ever relevant. The woman behind the desk comes over to me and says she can't register me until I tick a box, so I tick White British and Black African. She comes back again and says in a very slow voice, "Yeah, you can't be both." 

I look at her. Avoiding my eyes she starts stuttering, "Well, what are you? I guess you'd be more black wouldn't you. I suppose you could tick white... But what are you, half and half?" and with that she signals towards a tiny box at the very bottom of the form that says 'other ethnic background'.

Now, some people will read that story and be filled with immediate rage (which I personally am still trying to shake off) whilst others will think, 'what's her problem? It's just a form, fill it out properly and she wouldn't have to ask you twice. Stop making a fuss'. So I'm going to break down that story from my point of view.

Firstly, I have been reading a book called The Pigment of Your Imagination: Mixed Race in Global Society (follow the link to Amazon - it's only £2!) which is one of the most relevant books I've read in an incredibly long time. An American woman travels to Britain, Kenya, Nairobi and Jamaica to talk to interracial couples and their mixed raced children about what race they consider themselves to be. I could talk about this book for days but for the sake of not rabbiting on I'll highlight one part. Joy Zarembka, the author, speaks to someone about what race they consider themselves and the woman says, (paraphrasing) "I do not define myself as a race, as an act of defiance whenever I get a form where I have to declare my race, I either tick no box or two, because I am not half of anything. And what business is it of theirs?"

As soon as I saw the registration form - this came to the forefront of my mind and I thought, what business is it of theirs? Will they treat me differently or file me differently if I declare myself white or black? I don't want to categorise myself for other people anymore, why can't I just be a human being? It may seem like a small activist act but, we all have a part to play. So I didn't tick the box.

When she came back and told me I had to tick a box I was annoyed because I always thought those boxes were voluntary but apparently I was not going to be given the service until I told them what ethnicity I was so I ticked White British and Black African because that is what I am. Not even going into the long list of White options that were listed - six in total - before the two options of Black African and Black Carribbean and how highly dismissive of culture that is, I thought OK. I caved. But at least I tried.

Then for her to come back a third time and tell me that I couldn't be both. I couldn't be both?

My hilarious parents

Just take a minute to think about what that means to me, or any mixed heritage person, for a second. This was a registration form that has to be filled out for help and I've been told that I cannot get a service unless I disregard one side of my heritage. And then for her to suggest and almost tick the Black African box for me (because I'm too stupid to do that myself) just showed her complete lack of understanding of what she was asking me to do. Eventually after a frankly embarrassing interaction where I stared at her and she made herself look even more foolish, she decided I would be better put in the 'other ethnic background' which was right at the bottom of the page. I didn't even see it when I first looked at the form.

As a 'race' us mixed folk are the fastest growing group in the world. Shock horror, it's true. Now as far as I'm concerned, unless you're an incest baby EVERYONE is mixed race. But for the sake of this, we'll consider mixed race as coming from two different racial backgrounds. So WHY is 'my' box at the very bottom of the list, why does it have no acknowledgment of my culture and why is it named other?

Like some reject spawn.

I am not an other. No-one is an 'other'. 

It may seem like making a mountain out of a molehill to some but the time is now. The time to start climbing that mountain is now. Because things are going to get worse before they get better, and by pretending a problem doesn't exist we are only prolonging the damage that is being done every day through casual racism.