Reflection Afternoon...

Open University, Level 2 has now officially started in the Anyia household. How happy am I?! Very.

Up this year is, Creative Writing and Discovering Social Sciences. I'm going to be like sooooo cultured.

Just read the first chapter of my creative course book and did a couple of the activities which included 'free writing' where you write whatever comes into your head as quickly as possible, and also mind mapping, whilst listening to Lianne La Havas (one of my new obsessions).

Its funny what comes out when you write. Mind maps are easier to control because your linking up ideas with other ideas so a connections formed in your mind before you write anything down. There's an element of control over what your putting on the page. Free writing takes me to deeper places in my mind that I'm not really expecting, similar to song writing. I discover things about myself every time I write without thinking, thoughts and feelings are highlighted that I didn't think were present.

The first mind map the book told me to focus on had a nuclear point of 'Fear' which is an interesting place to start for anyone. Thinking about it now, if someone asked me to define fear, I would say fear of heights, spiders, pain, pretty much all superficial things. And yet, when it came up in my open-minded state, the first three things I wrote were, myself, failure, and love. Did not know those were the top three, though thinking about it everyone wants to succeed at something, even if they don't know what it is yet. What's the point in being here if there's nothing your working towards? I think the difference I feel when pursuing a creative career is that I want to do something I love for the rest of my life. There's no easy path I can go down, and there's so many talented musicians and writers in the world that if I don't make it, I only have myself to blame really.  

It's been funny this summer, almost all my friends have finished uni and come home with their degrees ready to start climbing that ladder that will get them to where they want to be and I've been in this constant flux of 'Fuck, what the hell have I got to show for the past three years of my life?' and 'Thank god I'm not in debt'...though I must say the latter is usually an afterthought to make me feel better after the panic the first thought gives me. And its true, I don't have anything to prove what I've done in the past three years. Not in the same way that they do. I don't have something that proves I've been working for my future and my dream but I do have me. I've learnt so much in the past few years about myself and what I need to do to get to where I want to be, not to mention the growing confidence I have in my self, my music, and my abilities. I also have the optimism thats come from watching my friends and me growing into the people we're going to be, and the excitement of every new artist I listen to that inspires me and makes me want to step up my game. I have my awesome flat and my brilliant housemate. And I have baking. Nuff said.

So, after my reflective afternoon, I've looked at all the amazing things I have in my life to counteract looking at my top three 'fears' because, you know what I'm only 22. I'm hoping I've got another 60 odd years to work on those fears. Whatever I do, failure's never going to be an option as long as I'm doing something that makes me happy. I'd rather be dirt poor and singing or writing everyday, with my friends and family around me, than rich, lonely and doing something I hate. 

So on that note, here's a few things that have made me smile this week...Enjoy xxx

Streetfest Vs Carnival

Did NOT realise there was so much to Nelson Street! Jig-tastic music everywhere, (somehow it always sounds better when its free) and graffiti that totally blew me away. Saturday was standardly rammed, and all the different areas were awesome. Sunday was a more chilled affair but I went down to do some busking at the BCFM  stand anyway, which was fun. Slightly confusing finding the right spot in my rather delicate state, (there were roughly 6 different busking spots) but it was a good opportunity to have another look at all the graff and hear some fellow Brizzle musicians (scroll down for pics).

But I gotta say, despite the awesome street art, Notting Hill stole the show. I think the last time I went to carnival was about 7 years ago. I remember wandering around an unknown street, seeing some x-rated dancing, and drinking warm cider....some things never change. I thought it didn't get better than St Pauls, which is brilliant in its own right, but Notting Hill blew me away. The sheer amount of stages was insane, and the people! So. Many. People. I went down on the Sunday to 'get my bearings' which was... optimistic to say the least. Despite it being kiddy parade day, it was rammed, and the dancing was...of an adult nature. One of the more aggressive daggerings I was subjected to viewing was that of a woman in her mid 30's, on a moving platform, getting dry humped so vigorously that her breasts flew free from her top (...no bra, no need...). Sadly she didn't realise this until the pointing and laughing in the crowd began. Not that she was bothered. Popped em back in and carried on-carnival vibes! Horrendous and hilarious in equal measure.

Standardly I failed to sleep that night, despite meaning to take it easy to get ready for proper carnival on Monday...but hey! Ever the trooper, I filled up me rum bottle and headed out to try and find my stunner of a cousin shaking her money maker in the parade. Of course, I didn't manage to find her, but she looked stunning none the less! Highlight of carnival was the Digital Soundboy stage which hosted Rodigan b2b Breakage - fucking amazing. Ms. Dynamite popped in too. It was beyond rammo, so we managed to hop (or in my case clamber ungracefully) over a rather large fence and rave out in someones garden for a good few hours. Pretty much just a good day of dancing, ending with a sweaty tube ride to a friends house party...

Now, normally the journey wouldn't have a cause for mention because in general getting from A to B  is pretty boring. However, there is a story here that must be told... If you've ever been on the London Underground you'll have heard the booming voice which reminds individuals to 'MIND THE GAP' at every stop. Personally, I try and ignore that voice, because its annoying. And every time I hear it, there's a part of me that thinks, 'who is this actually  for? No-one is stupid enough to need that shouted at them every time they enter/exit a carriage'. Well, I'll tell you who its for. People like my friend Lowi. OH YES! IT HAPPENED! SHE FELL DOWN THE GAP!!! Never have I laughed so much on the tube. Gone were any thoughts of worry, sympathy, fear, I was a hysterical, giggling wreck. I don't quite know what happened apart from, one of her legs was in the carriage, the other was down the gap. How it got there, I'll never know. Thank god the boys behind pulled her up, because looking back I dread to think what could have happened. But really now, if even an intelligent girl like Lowi can be conquered by the gap, there is fear in my heart for us all. For the remainder of the journey, she was heavily supervised and the next day I was treated to this gem of a text: "Ow...my knee hurts, as does my hip. The gap was not a welcoming place for me. It was in fact, very hostile". Brilliant.

Overall, despite the fantabulous graffiti, I'd have to say Carnival 1: Streetfest 0 - Solid effort Brizzle, but this time London wins hands down.

 

The baker in me...

As I've mentioned before, I am a baking addict and am constantly being mocked by my family and friends for taking pictures of my triumphs pre consumption. It may seem odd to some, I've endured a couple of snipes along the lines of, "Why do you think anyone wants to see pictures of your food? Who cares what you're eating?!" Well...I do. And this is my blog. Which, more than anything else, is a place for me to document things I've enjoyed, thought about, or discovered in my life. Occasionally, food is one of those things. I like to cook, I like to eat, I like to feed. At the moment I like to experiment and blog about it. If this is not of interest to you, AVERT YOUR EYES.

For anyone that is interested, and fancies trying out one of my recipes, here have been my star baking moments over the past month...

First up is the IMMENSE carrot cake with orange zest butter icing that I made for one of my besties, Sophie O'Kelly's birthday. The recipe was to feed 8...I doubled it. The end result could have fed 20. The finish on the cake wasn't the perfect picture I'd hoped for, partly due to not having time to let the butter icing cool before piping it on, but overall I was happy with it. Got me a new icing bag off ebay especially for the occasion *happy face*. I didn't actually get to eat that much of it, but the nibble I did have was rather awesome (if I do say so myself).  I would post the recipe I was following but halfway through I started free-styling due to being a couple of ingredients short... Either way, the result was a very rich, moist cake which took roughly two hours to bake, and went down very quickly. Result!

My second bascapade (baking escapade) was cookies. I've always wanted to be a cookie master but every time I follow a recipe, they never come out the way I want. Too sweet, too crunchy, always too...something. So on Thursday I stumbled upon an experimenting opportunity-as usual there is a story behind it.

As any regular readers will know, I've been hitting it hard recently in the form of festivals, carnivals, street parties, and general frolicking around Bristol. Despite vowing I would eventually calm down and return to a regular routine, my body has taken matters into its own hands...and turned on me. For the past week I've been led in bed feeling sorry for myself, without the ability to stand, talk, or eat. Despite this, when I got a text off my friend asking if I could cook her dinner I said 'Yes, of course', and decided to throw a dinner party. I told everyone to bring a dish to cut down on the effort I'd need to put in...shocker! Nobody did. I ended up whipping up a meal for 6, of which I could stomach none of. I tried, I failed, I went to the kitchen to start making pudding. Post creaming together butter and sugar, supposedly for a cake, I realised I had no eggs so decided to make cookies instead. Normally, you need eggs for cookies because they provide the binding factor which helps them keep their shape, but they're not essential in terms of taste. As you can see from the first 'cookie' picture, the resulting aesthetics weren't incredibly pleasing but they still tasted pretty darn good.

Anyway, today at my mums I perfected the recipe, so that they were just as pleasing to the eye as they are to the mouth (that shouldn't sound weird but it does...ah well). I use spelt flour because I'm not a massive wheat fan, but you can use any kind of flour. Bread flour makes the end result a bit more doughy and gives the cracked top on the finished cookie. I normally split the batch before the *star* ingredient stage so I can make lots of different flavours. Out of one base batch I made peanut butter for my dad and raspberry for my mum.

SO- here are the basics for you to use in your own cookie journey...

125g butter
125g sugar
100g spelt flour
100g bread flour
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
*star ingredient*

Firstly preheat the oven to 180 degrees and line a baking tray with parchment paper. Cream together the butter and sugar. Add in the beaten egg and vanilla essence. Sieve in the flours, add in pinch of bicarb of soda and baking powder. Mix together thoroughly and add your star ingredient (e.g peanut butter, raspberry jam, lemon curd, desiccated coconut etc). Take a heaped teaspoon of mixture and drop onto baking tray, push down slightly with back of spoon (make sure you leave enough space between drops for the mixture to spread) and put in the oven to bake for 15-20 mins. You should be able to tell when they're done by a crack appearing in the top.

The resulting cookies should be soft in the middle, not too sweet, and brilliantly bite-size so you can keep track of how many you've had (although personally I choose to 'lose count' after the fourth...).

Happy baking! xxx