Wednesday 4 November 2015

Akua Naru - My Heart Is Broken

Akua Naru was at The Lantern last month - a spoken word artist that has been on my radar for only a year or so after a friend compared one of my songs to hers (massive compliment) but who I thought I'd never actually get to see live. Originally from Connecticut, US she now lives in Germany - after seeing her show I'm inclined to think it was an escape...

I wasn't sure what to expect of a live music show because I'd only heard her as a spoken word artist. I knew she played with a band but what would it be, instrumentals in-between poems? A slow, soulful, hip-hop vibe? Well, you never know until you get there.

On a pure performance vibe it was intense from the beginning. The set was put together mindfully, opening up with easily accessible hip-hop before moving on to her most popular song in the middle of the set 'How Does It Feel' - always a brave move. There's a danger as a performer that once you play your crowd pleaser, the crowd starts to peter out - but it didn't.

In fact when she played that song, the crowd changed. We evolved from shuffling, bum shaking, good timers to alertly thoughtful listeners. When she played this song such a huge wave of emotion went over me that before I knew it tears were streaming down my face.

That's how music affects me - it's so deeply connected with my emotions that sometimes I don't know I need to cry until something starts and I break. I recorded the whole thing even though I knew it was gonna be a long one (excuse the shaky hand - arm workout!) because I wanted to capture that moment.



That song changed the tone of the night - everyone was ready to listen a little harder, feel a little deeper.

Akua Naru started to explain the reasons for certain songs that she played from her new album The Miners Canary (click to buy her album off bandcamp - it's worth it) is political, musical and thoughtful. (Black &) Blues People is the song she sang straight after dropping some truth and spreading the word that America's problems are not new and they are not confined to America. Technology has forced the world to wake up and now blatant disrespect for life can no longer be ignored - things have to start to change.

Here's what she had to say:



I thought she might do a half hearted 45 minute show, I'd heard it had been a long tour, but Akua Naru stayed on that stage for a whole 2 hours and not once did her energy dwindle.

Initially I took the effort she put into connecting with audience as an 'Americanism' but by the end of the show it all made sense. She needed to open up that level of communication with the audience so that they trusted her. Trusted that she wasn't there to make anyone feel guilty but that equally what she was telling them was the truth, a truth that is too dangerous to ignore.

At the end of the set she said she would be outside with vinyls and merchandise (I always feel bad for artists when they say this because people generally tend to smile as they head straight towards the exit) and no sooner had the band finished playing, almost everyone was outside waiting to thank her for the experience she had brought to them.

I overheard a girl in front of me who was almost at the point of emotional explosion because she said it was the first time she had been made to fully understand the issue. It was a discussion she had always felt she couldn't be a part of and it made her turn a blind eye. Akua told her that the first step is to listen, listen to the stories to understand the experience and then form your opinion - but that she had already taken her first step by going to that concert and staying until the end.

I left that concert feeling like my heart had been torn and mended all in a two hour period - I laughed and cried, shared her pain but also glimpsed some hope. Because if you look past all the A List celebrities who are more interested in money than morals, you sometimes get to see those who are left. Using their gift to try and change the world - music never sounded so bittersweet.

Tuesday 3 November 2015

Cat Lady at 25 - Say Nuttin

May I begin this post by saying - I am sure there are lots of lovely, respectful, wonderful men out there and this is not aimed at you normal people.

Now that's out the way I'd just like to ask a question - wtf is up with the males that I come into contact with?

It's really hard to not become jaded when the men who find me are either sex-crazed or terrified. Either way both teams start out the same...

"You're so beautiful and intelligent and funny and confident, I love that! Blah blah blah"

I'm not actually great at receiving compliments so this bit is always pretty awkward for me. I normally say thank you, then ask them questions about themselves so we're not stuck in this whirlpool of ego-stroking.

After that I'll excuse myself if I'm not interested or if they actually ask for my number I'll give it to them. I'm not that fussy about my number to be honest. It's been the same for about ten years and is on every business card/email I've sent out in that time so no nose skin sacrificed.

What they do with the number... This is the moment I find out whether the guy is:
a) A potential rapist
b) Terrified
c) Not interested

I have experienced many versions of the above.

Most recently:

Option A) Potential Rapist


Picture me minding my own business, listening to Chaka Khan whilst walking to work, trying to shake off a hangover when a car pulls up and a guy starts chatting to me.

I take out my headphones thinking he's looking for directions but am sadly mistaken. As I try to excuse myself he begins kerb crawling alongside me to the point where I begin worrying people will start to think I know him. In a moment of desperation (and boredom) I gave him my number. He called it immediately and I saved him as 'Reggie Road Man'.

Reggie Road Man then proceeded to harass me with dead chat texts for a month, refusing to take any hints (before you wonder why I didn't block him, I didn't know you could block whatsapp people..low me) before sending me a picture of his penis.

Now to ME that seems odd. Firstly it was was not of a bragging size so that's...brave. Secondly if someone hasn't reciprocated any of your dead chat, why would they want to see that? Thirdly WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SENDING ME A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK???!!!

Men, please. Do not send girls pictures of yourself unless they ask for them. NO-ONE is as into your dick as you are and surpriiiiiise it's not a turn on AT ALL to wake up to some strangers appendage at 8am in the morning. EURGH. Your mother has a lot to answer for.

A paraphrased version of the above is what I replied to him. I received 'Suck it', and thus my faith in the male species slipped a little further.

(at the bottom of this post you will find a chart outlining when it is OK to send a dickpic..it is rare)


Option B) The Terrified.


Don't get me wrong I think guys have a tough time when it comes to dating because it's expected that the guy has to be the one to walk over, make conversation, ask for the number, risk the rejection etc and that must be difficult if you're not confident.

And I am not exactly a wallflower - so if someone's come up to me I already think, kudos man, that can't have been easy. So it's not that people can be shy that annoys me, it's that when I'm actively trying to make you feel less afraid by having a conversation with you, and you ask me for my number which I then give to you to show that I'm a normal person and not some mythical being and you're still too terrified to use it... That annoys me.


Option C) The Not Interested.


I think these are the most common and you know what, not everyone is going to like you. We all have different preferences and there are characteristics that are attractive to some and not to others - not a problem.

Obviously there's the issue of the media brainwashing people into thinking what is or isn't attractive - but that's a different blog post.

However, what is particularly frustrating about the option c) people is that you don't realise until it's too late because they tell you the exact opposite. What are we, mind-readers?!

You can chat a bit maybe have a drink or five... Get a bit drunk, a little bit flirty, a little bit handsy... And in the midst of this excitement, they begin to declare all these futuristic statements "I'm so glad I've met you", "What an amazing night", "I can't wait to see you again" and so on and so forth and then...

CASPER BITCH!!!

Oh what, you thought that was real? Noooooo no no, just figured it was what you wanted to hear but actually I'm just not that into it so... Soweeeee

The confusion!! Suddenly it's like wait but...
I didn't want a relationship..?

You
were the one saying you wanted to see me again.... I was just smiling and sipping my Long Island Iced Tea....

Why do I now feel like I've been shafted when I hadn't decided if I liked you....?

What's happening???!!

And we're back to square one. 

So in light of this I have got a kitten (pics to come) and am embracing my cat lady future xx